Sigh -part 2-

So yeah, here's part 2. I've been kinda wondering lately... my life's so wonderful, but I just can't seem to feel it I guess... lately. I'm feeling like everything's falling apart, my world. My personal reality is breaking apart, falling apart into pieces, disappearing, vanishing... Can't think of other words. If it actually happens... if... don't be suprised at how I'll be acting. I'll be weird, real weird.

At home, outside of home. The 2 different Me(s). I guess when people look at me, they'll be like oh look! he's so happy! he's always smiling. So yeah, sometimes I wonder... when people go emo... do they actually think of the people around them? Guess not.

Pulling people out of the darkness... when you yourself can't do anything to get yourself out of your own darkness... sad isn't it? Yeah. The darkness in me, no ones ever seen. It hides like a shadow, when a bright light comes forth, it hides behind me, leaving a bright shining surface. When the lights are gone, it comes back and devours the light. Kinda weird really... I'm pretty contradicting. Don't ask me where, I'll ignore you. Eitherway, I hate loneliness, yet at the same time, sometimes I just wish I was alone. All alone... Sometimes... I've never felt this way before but I guess... things change. Feels good sometimes. Though sometimes when you're alone, it's always nice when someone just walks by and says hi, or just sits next to you. It's always comforting. I suppose?

Results? Here's my results. (I'm gonna write them in my real marks, I don't give a fuck about homework marks)

Add Maths - 58

Modern Maths - 77

English - 77

Biology - 67

Chemistry - 73

Physics - 87

History - 42

Malay - 64

Moral - 40

Accounts - 81

5As. Not bad I suppose. Whatever. Seriously, sometimes I just want to say, FML, kill me now. At the same time I don't want to. There's two opposing forces in me, in battle all this while. It's always been a pain. My world, is a place I want to go to... a large field... with only green grasses, moderate height. A blue sky... wind blowing from the right to left. Constantly... and me, just sitting there. That's a place I'd like to go to... I guess people has just been passing by... no one sat down next to me in that place yet. So yeah... not like anyone can get in. It's my world... my messed up world that's in a different dimension than everything else. That whacked world which rejects anything. A world where people won't understand. It's true isn't it? We always tend to say... people don't understand me. But do you actually let them understand you? For me... no. I won't let someone understand me. What I mean is, I won't open up to someone... but I want them to understand... yeah. How? I don't know either... I guess I just want them to understand me without me telling how but it's gonna be real hard... my world... my thinking... it's whacked out. I tend to think differently. So... yeah =\. I highly doubt anyone would actually understand me in this life. If someone actually does... I'd be grateful.

Just a side note. No flaming in the C Box beside. Thanks. Your cooperation is appreciated if you wish to read my blog. If not... get out.