Episode 2

"A Dreamer's Diary..." Episode 2

Confused

Wanted to post few weeks ago but I was too lazy. Well I guess now I'm really confused. Did I really choose the right path? Should I go on with this? I can bear with everything but what if... Koreans don't accept Malaysians to be K Pop singers? :\. Sigh... I have the answers to all my questions... most of them... to keep me moving on non-stop. Still, its like a revolving blade, like a gear, rotating and rotating, coming back once it has just left. I do wonder sometimes if are there anyone around me who is like me...

Well I guess one of my main dreams... is to be able to sing well. Going more specific, sing well + in Korea. I <3 the Korean Language. Sigh, improve my voice? People don't know how much it hurts me when they talk about my voice. When they say its nice, I know its not. I know where I stand but when they criticize me, it hurts a lot. It might just be just for jokes but still... it still hurts. Ah well. 

I hope my voice would improve... I want to sing like Jason Chen, Yoseob, Park Bom, etc etc. Nice texture and control + vibrato. How awesome would that be huh. Vocal classes? I have my Vocal Training Program and I go for lessons very seldomly for check-ups and stuff. Having one later at 9am. Right now I'm under KTVA, Ken Tamplin Vocal Academy. Learning voice from there. Ken said that people normally will be on Volume 1 for about 2 - 3 weeks or 1 month. I've been on it for 2 months...... Sigh, I feel so unproductive. Its like all the time I've used for all these have been wasted. I don't really see any difference with my voice from today comparing with last year. Its depressing... really.

Next up SPM, sigh I haven't even started yet. Trials... nope, not yet... what am I to do? Start then! Though I was offered a translating job by Ken Tamplin. If I could translate his program to Mandarin, he'd give me free voice lessons. Oh and I have to record it over his voice as well. OF COURSE I'D GO FOR IT!. Deadline? September 15th... today? August 24... Trials next next Monday. I'm really troubled about this. I guess I should try and sort things out. Hopefully I'll ignore everything and go full translating and study. I want to improve my voice. 

Still at the end of the day... I'm very much confused.

Should I do this? Of course I should, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life!

What if I don't improve? Don't worry, you will! Just keep holding on!

How sure am I to be able to get a job? Where there's a will there's a way!

Parents don't really support... Its alright! Show them!

I've been doing KTVA for 2 months... Not much improvements... Its okay! You will definitely improve even if it takes 3 years!

I have so much more questions and doubts to myself and also knowing what I would answer to myself but still the question doesn't go away, neither does the answer. They just keep staying there firing each other, messing my mind up sometimes. I'm confused. 

Conclusion I have made from this blog post to remind me :

1. You will never give up your dream, Rayhan Tee.

2. You WILL improve, get vocal lessons! Go get a job after SPM!

3. If you can't find a job in future, youtube videos, music teacher, performing at random places, just fly to Korea!

4. Be more disciplined! 

5. Study for SPM & Trials

6. Cut down on Dragon Nest.

DAMN YOU DRAGON NEST! Thank god its graphics is a bit too much for my computer and I can't play it properly. Thus I'm not THAT hooked to it. Phew.

Well I guess this is it. Not much of an emo post but more of a PoV post. 

Next up on episode 3...  [Buffering ... 83%]